Sunday, June 24, 2012


Lately, I seem to be baffled by the behavior of the men in my life. I originally wrote out a whole rant about how irritating that several guys I've encountered lately like to drop off the face of the earth for several days at a time, only to reappear as if no time has passed at all. But it really did make me sound like the crazy, needy girl that I most certainly am not. This particular post is not to rant about how flaky men are. This blog is to pose the following question:

What the fuck???

That picture is an actual text that I received from one of said guys that I went on exactly two dates with earlier this month. I had texted him once on Sunday and didn't hear from again for five days. I get that guys have a tendency to just stop calling if they're no longer interested. I too am a coward when it comes to awkward confrontation. So if a guy is just not that into me and decides not to pursue any further interactions, there's truly no hard feelings. I had just figured that I was never going to hear from him, and continued with my daily life (and flirtations with other men). My heart will go on (completely intact I might add).

Say, wasn't it Berger himself who came up with the phrase,
"He's just not that into you?" (Even with the whole post-it thing,
he was still the only guy Carrie ever dated that I dug)

So again I ask, what exactly does it mean when a 31-year-old guy who was pretty but had the wit and sensibility of a 12-year-old, sends you a picture of a large, partially eaten hamburger? We had never eaten burgers together. We had never discussed burgers together, neither philosophically nor as some kind of obscure inside joke. And there was no text accompanying the burger to give it some kind of context. I could only assume that he had sent it to me by mistake. (Which would have been even more awkward if he really had decided never to text me again.) Not knowing how to act in this scenario, I responded with a sophisticated and concise, '?"

Ronald McDonald is not amused.

He responded right away (refreshing, for a change), "It's a McGangBang!" ... Still not getting it. He answered my subsequent query: "It's a McChicken and a Double Cheeseburger altogether!" All I could think to say to that was, "Sounds gnarly. Did you enjoy it?" Of course he enjoyed it. It has the word 'gang bang' in the name and as I mentioned, this man is 12 years old. And that was the extent of our conversation. Clearly this is not the love of my life. But seriously, WTF?

Oh, and some of you were wondering what happened with the guy from my previous blog post, Underwear Limbo. Not a damn thing. I must have ended up inadvertently standing him up after all because he never contacted me to reschedule. Unless he's like all these other guys who seem to believe in not contacting a girl unless enough time has passed that she's already given up on you. Sigh.


  1. That is truly, TRULY bizarre. What. The. Fuck.

    Maybe he sent it to everyone in his contact list, which still wouldn't really explain anything, but would at least keep you from feeling singled out.

  2. That is definitely a thought. Now I feel even less special though if I was part of a mass hamburger text... Weird how that happens so quickly. He was awfully pretty even though we had absolutely nothing in common.