Enter the Controversy

First of all, let me just say that I'm writing this on the wireless keyboard usually reserved for my desktop. Only I'm using my iPad. I just MacGyvered myself a friggin' laptop. I'm feeling very smug and impressed with myself. Especially because this means I can sit on my couch and watch Netflix and still write at the same time. Hopefully that means I'll blog more and maybe even write something worthwhile. Heh.

Now that was a damn good show.
Not exactly realistic, I'm sure. But entertaining nonetheless.

I mentioned briefly in my previous post that I'm wasting valuable procrastinating time watching the reality show. "Sister Wives." I hate reality shows. The only ones I will admit to loving are: "What Not to Wear," and "Say Yes to the Dress," which hardly count. But something about this show grabbed my attention. I've been on a polygamy kick lately, which seems like a very weird thing to say. But I've been reading The 19th Wife, and just watched a documentary about the scary compound polygamist, "Sons of Perdition." Both of which were excellent. I was also a fan of "Big Love," back in the day, though I stopped watching about halfway through the series due to my atrocious television ADD.

So. Much. Estrogen. I would feel bad for the guy,
but he's happy as a clam on prozac.

I guess the reason I'm so fascinated by "Sister Wives," and polygamy in general, is mainly the logistics. The majority of the show's content isn't terribly compelling and its subjects are not especially likable (the husband Kody is obnoxious and douchey but in a nice way, and the wives are mostly batshit insane drama queens who never want to hurt anyone's feelings and yet get their feelings hurt so absurdly often. Also, many of the kids have the stupidest names I've ever heard.). It's not that they're bad people. They're just normal. Normal, boring, folks from Utah. And that is why this show is so interesting (in spite of the fact that they repeat themselves over. and over. and over to the point where I'm currently concocting a "Sister Wives" drinking game). I'm caught up in the coordination of it all. How they accomplish basic tasks like grocery shopping, paying bills, going on vacations, packing up and moving. Suddenly things we take for granted become so much more complicated, especially if they have to be secretive about something so major. And yet, they have a whole team working to make it happen. It's just a different practical dynamic.

There's also a different emotional dynamic. The show explores the jealousies, insecurities, and divisions of time and affection that naturally emerge in such relationships. Even though the wives are well aware and willingly consented to plural marriage, their husband courting a fourth wife becomes a source of contention. Simple things such as whether it's kosher to kiss his fiancee knowing he's technically a married man, suddenly cause major (albeit exaggerated) drama. A woman with fertility problems becomes that much more sympathetic when she sees her sister wives with six kids a piece, and more on the way (Meri breaks my heart!)

The Brown Family Home

It's even more fascinating given that I was raised Mormon (distinct from the Browns' religion in that we do NOT practice polygamy). I know that there must be a lot of doctrinal differences, but based on what is depicted in the show, the culture seems very similar. The manner of dress, the colloquialisms, the prayers, and other minor aspects instantly take me back to my childhood, or at least what I witnessed around my uber-Mormon family members around Salt Lake City. I remember visiting my aunt in West Jordan and her pointing to a large house we were driving past on the freeway, whispering, "That belongs to a polygamist and his wives," as if it were a scandalous, shameful secret. Clearly there is a divide between LDS and FLDS, and a pretty fragile one at that. Both sides would be offended at the comparison, but it is undeniable, especially when it comes from the same root.

Regardless of my own monogamous upbringing, watching this show has confirmed my belief that I honestly don't think polygamy should be illegal. This is just another type of family. I preach tolerance and freedom of religion, and believe that the government shouldn't interfere in the personal lives of citizens who are consenting, law-abiding adults who are breaking no other laws. It's only right that it should be legal. That's not to say I believe in it. In fact, I barely believe in marriage at all, despite my own parents having been happily married for decades, and most of my many many siblings being hitched with young'uns. I'm terrified of commitment and I'm not even 100% positive that I want children of my own.

But I do believe in freedom. If they're not committing tax or welfare fraud, child or spousal abuse, pedophilia, or any of the other crimes associated with this lifestyle, then why the hell not? Yes, I realize it's problematic when viewed through a feminist perspective. That multiple women should submit to and revolve around a man for the ultimate purpose of breeding what some may deem obscene amounts of children, is definitely disconcerting. At the same time, it's not for me to decide. I'm not involved in their relationship. Just like they're not involved in my relationship. What's important is that they get to have the choice.

I highly recommend watching this documentary as well.

Some may also argue that they were brainwashed to believe that this is the only way of life. And so many polygamist wives are. But I'm not referring to the cultish compounds out in the boonies that haven't been exposed to anything else, as showed in "Sons of Perdition." They weren't given a choice and many of their practices make me sick. Each of the Browns arrived at the decision to become polygamists as adults after much deliberation. They made it clear that their children are welcome to choose whatever lifestyle they wish. Some of the children mentioned that they don't intend to be polygamists, though they appreciate the way they have been raised. I think that's admirable, seeing as many other religions or cultures forbid their children from even considering other options.

Fuck you, Warren Jeffs. Fuck you.

A major plot line of the show is the constant threat of a serious police investigation into their family. Because bigamy is technically illegal. As a viewer, it seems crazy to me that these folksy, though somewhat misguided, people could conceivably go to jail for a religious practice which should be protected by the constitution. Of course those laws were written to prevent sickos like Warren Jeffs from rising up and subjugating and abusing women and children, as well as other financial malpractices. But that is clearly not what is happening here. As someone whose primary political persuasion is based on the fact that the government should not waste time, money, and resources on unnecessary things (see my blog regarding legalizing marijuana for essentially the same reason), this sickens me even more. Are the Lehi police really so bored and rolling around in piles of taxpayer's money that they feel like chasing after a large family who just wants to extreme coupon, carve pumpkins and wear multiple layers of clothing in a burning desert?

I realize that this may be a hot-button issue for some people. Other people may not have even given polygamy a second thought. Personally, I hate debate and avoid any subjects more controversial than whether or not I enjoy "Breaking Bad," (which actually sparked quite the online tizzy, believe it or not). I just hope that people see this show and realize that these are not criminals. They are a loving, spiritual family, that has to work extra hard and sacrifice a great deal to stay together and maintain a strong bond with all the branches. It's almost admirable in a way, especially when so many mainstream relationships can barely handle one other person in their lives, let alone four.

Seeing as there's no way I'd ever become a polygamist, the legality of the practice isn't something that directly affects me. And as soon as I'm through with the show, I'll probably forget about it altogether. But for now, it's sparking a very small fire of political fervor that's usually neglected within me. Although the second the Browns try to cheat on their taxes or take advantage of federal social programs, I will turn on them so fast, every single one of their heads will spin. (That's my fiscally conservative side acting up again...).

Why My Mom Is Awesome

I originally posted this as a Facebook note (the second prototype to Sporadic Sporkitudes following the decline of my many ranting Myspace blogs) on October 25th, 2008, just before the vote on Prop 8. It is just as relevant over four years later as it was back then. 

My mom is down in Pasadena for a short visit. Naturally we're spending quality time together in our PJs watching the Notebook and Beaches, and eating whole wheat blueberry pancakes. We're sitting side by side on the couch with our phones out, scrolling down our respective Facebook pages. While mine is practically bleeding with all the variations of the red equality symbol, hers is covered in anti-gay outcries. My mom, like me, worries too much about offending people with her opinion, but she is allowing me to re-post the following: 

"I just want to share how incredibly proud I am of my mother. She wrote the following response to a friend who was sending Yes on 8 e-mail chains out. As a heterosexual, usually conservative, white, middle-class woman with five children who's been happily married for over thirty years, this is the last person you would expect to see the light about this incredibly important issue. But she stood up for what she believes and that proves to me that people's minds can change.

'I know this is a huge issue for you, and I respect that. Your answer was carefully thought out and shows how much you care about this. There was a time when I thought the same way. In fact, I thought the worst thing that could happen to our family would be to find out that one of our children was gay. (That didn't happen). It is also a huge issue for me. Enough that I left a church I loved my whole life over this as one of the key issues.

I'm sure this is not the case with you, but many people have a distorted view of gays. They only see the extreme and think that's how the majority of them are. Most of them live in our neighborhoods, work around us, and you would never even know they are gay. Many are intensely spiritual people with extremely strong moral values. Many are still Christian, while others have been completely disowned by their churches and family causing tremendous heartbreak. Many Christians don't know the Bible well enough to know that Christ never spoke a word about the subject. Paul did, but then he never even met Christ except as a vision on the road to Damascus long after Christ was dead. It is talked about in the Old Testament along with several other outdated laws that don't apply and are not practiced in this era. The form of homosexuality talked about in the Old Testament is really pedophilia. That is certainly not acceptable in this day either! Some people assume that all gays and lesbians are pedophiles which is absolutely not true. This is not directed at you, but I just get frustrated with the ignorance and superiority some people feel over their way being the only right way. There was a time when good Christian people believed in the the right to own slaves using the Bible as their support. I feel like this falls into that category, and hopefully some day will be looked on the same. To deny them this right is essentially saying they are not as good as the rest of us, and I believe that not to be true.

It was nice to get to express my opinion. I haven't been able to do that before over this particular issue. We can respect our right to differ. I should have just let the email slide, but I felt I had been silent on the issues long enough. To say nothing would be like saying I agreed with it.

Life would be pretty dull if we all agreed on everything. You know how much I care about you, and hope you know none of this was directed at you personally. I just needed to vent as did you apparently!'-Cathy"

Yeah... my mom is cooler than your mom. Don't hate.

A Prop 19 Soapbox by a Non-Stoner

Welcome to Election Day. Or if you're me, welcome to In N Out Burger Day at my work. I'm more excited about the prospect of free, delicious burgers than I am about voting this year. This is for three reasons. 1) Have you had In N Out? It's like a religious experience. 2) I really don't feel strongly about any of the candidates/propositions. They all kind of suck. 3) I am one of those mythical, reviled "apathetic youth" that has trouble getting riled up about politics. Yes I know I should care. And there are a few issues I feel very strongly about. These are:

1) The economy. But mostly because I personally will not have a job soon.

2) Keeping religion the hell out of government (don't even get me started).

3) Allowing homosexuals to marry, adopt children, and generally be treated like honest-to-goodness U.S. citizens (see #2)

4) Legalizing marijuana.

That is my entire political platform. If you ever see me rant about something that actually matters (unlike late 90s family sitcoms), it will probably be about one of those issues. The last of which concerns me today on this lovely November 2nd. I will now issue an important disclaimer: I am NOT a stoner. I personally couldn't care less about marijuana. I have tried it a couple times (in Amsterdam where it was legal and what a shocker, they haven't managed to burn their city to the ground yet). And while it wasn't a negative experience, I really didn't care much for it. I'd be perfectly happy if I never did it again.

Meh.

So why am I so fired up about Prop 19, the proposition to legalize minimal possession of pot? Because California needs the money. I'm sick of budget cuts, bankruptcy, tuition fee hikes, tax increases, overcrowded prisons and all manner of unpleasantness. By taxing and controlling marijuana as much as possible (let's not kid ourselves that we'll be able to control all of it), we can reap the dual benefits of saving money on this ridiculous War on Mary Jane, and tax the shit out of it so we can start filling potholes again.

Kids are going to smoke marijuana, whether or not it's legal. Just like kids are going to smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol before they become of age. I know that's poor logic to say just because people kill other people and we can't stop them, we should just make it legal. But honestly, I'd rather have my kid light up a joint at a friend's house on occasion, than get into a car drunk, or start the lifelong addiction to nicotine that leads to cancer. But it is practically impossible, not to mention unlikely that someone will overdose or become addicted to marijuana. In fact, the only reason marijuana became illegal in the first place was because the cotton lobbyists wanted to muscle out hemp in the fabric business. It's basically a smear campaign for economic reasons. I'm not going to get into the health benefits of medical marijuana, seeing as that's already legal and for good reasons.

The main reason I believe in legalizing marijuana is because I firmly believe that the government does not have the right to tell us what to do with our own bodies. Marijuana is not a safety issue, as people are most likely to do it in their own homes just to relax. And while innocent bystanders may experience a "contact high," it is nothing compared to the dangers of second hand cigarette smoke. So if you don't believe in smoking marijuana, don't do it. I fully support that. Just like I fully support abstaining from alcohol or cigarettes for moral or health reasons. But why do you get to harsh someone else's buzz? (Is that what the kids are calling it these days? I'm not really up on my pot lingo). Please don't be like those awful Prohibition activists in the early 20th century. No one liked them, and people kept drinking anyway, with no taxation.

Awesome movie, but not exactly factual.

Decriminalize this harmless, recreational substance. Stop watching Reefer Madness, believing it to be a hard-hitting documentary. Stem the wasted tax dollars on hunting down small-time smokers, and reap the benefits of marijuana revenue. Go Prop 19! Sure, it might be flawed, and not everything we would want in legalization of marijuana, but it's a step in the right direction.

(I know, I should back up these claims with citations and research, but I have to get to work and I really don't have time. Just google it if you're curious. I could be wrong about some things, but my intentions are pure)

And one more thing "It is one thing to get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day." -Clueless. So smoke responsibly. And buy air freshener, not incense, because that shit smells.

http://www.drugwarrant.com/articles/why-is-marijuana-illegal/

UPDATE: Post election. Wasn't a fan of either gubernatorial candidate. Or the word 'gubernatorial.' And I really didn't expect that we would get away with Prop 19. Eh. What are you gonna do. I'm going to watch SPICE WORLD. Who needs marijuana when you have GIRL POWER!!