Why My Mom is Awesome Part 2: Mother's Day Extravaganza

Prepare yourself for a mushy, sappy, sickly sweet post in honor of Mother's Day! Because I love my mama (and am a horrible person when it comes to giving gifts, sending flowers, and taking her out to dinner because I'm a. poor, and b. 500 miles away), I've decided to compile a list of all the reasons why she's awesome. I've already covered one major facet of said awesomeness, so I know you're dying to know more about the special woman who created the awesomeness that is me.

• Mama Hutch gave birth to five children in ten years the drug-free, old-fashioned way, like a friggin' boss. Not that there's anything wrong with epidurals or C-sections. I plan on going that route myself one day. I don't believe in unnecessary pain. You have to admit, it's pretty impressive to shove not one but FIVE watermelons down your hoo-ha. And we were not small watermelons.

Pictured: Ouch.

• She graduated from high school at sixteen and travelled throughout Scandinavia before college like some kind of overachieving viking. So when she got married at eighteen and had my oldest brother at nineteen, she was already way ahead of the game. 
• She went back to school to get her teaching credential when I was two years old, meaning that she had five kids under the age of twelve and still managed to handle her business. What's your excuse?

No fetching hats required.

• She has taught literally thousands of kids to sing, play all kinds of instruments, and genuinely enjoy music with a passion. From choir to band to piano lessons and musical theater, she has done it all, often spending her own money and free time to enrich her curriculum. The woman is basically a legit Professor Harold Hill, without the fancy hat. She organizes concerts every semester for parents bursting with pride at the sight of their children performing on a huge scale.
• One of those children she taught to sing was me. First in church when I asked her why she was singing different notes from everyone else. She explained what a harmony was, thereby instilling in me an appreciation for the more hard core, under-appreciated altos of the world. I was hooked. She was my Mr. Shue in middle school vocal ensemble, with less hair product, and later the director/music coach for several musicals.

My mom is way less obnoxious though.

• Given her large household of eight (including her mother who lived with us until I was fourteen), Mama Hutch was the guru of grocery shopping. By this I mean, she managed to fit 80 million bags of groceries (everything on sale) into the trunk of a compact Geo Metro. Watching her reconfigure the brown paper Tetris blocks was quite the feat. She could have had her own game show, for realsies.
• Another little known skill is her ability to hide Easter baskets. I wrote an entire blog about that talent alone. I think she was a very successful pirate in another life, burying treasure where no one would EVER find it. It's probably because she is constantly losing things. Her keys, her phone, the remote, her damn mind (haha just kidding!)

OHMYGODSOGOOD!
(And to my theater snob friends,
get over Anne Hathaway. She wasn't that bad.)

• She was the one who introduced me to Les Miserables when all we had was the Anniversary Concert VHS which we watched over. and over. and over. until she finally was able to take us to the real thing in Sacramento. It was very special to finally get to see the movie with her and my brothers Nick and Scott who are secure enough in their manhood to enjoy musicals (cough cough Andy and David...).
• When I went away to college in Southern California, I wasn't homesick in the slightest until six weeks in when it hit me all at once. It was bad. I called her crying on a Friday afternoon and she literally jumped in her car that instant and drove five hours to meet me in Bakersfield to take me home for the weekend.

What I picture my mom doing everyday.

• Did I mention that she's secretly Fraulein Maria (only a former Mormon instead of a former nun)? When I first into my apartment in North Hollywood, she came down to help me get settled. Most parents are willing to take their kids to Ikea. But do they also turn leftover curtain fabric into matching pillowcases? That's in addition to my favorite pink blanket, penguin apron, and countless costumes that she sewed herself. 
• Oh yeah. And she makes OUTSTANDING chicken. Like for real. Even when the power went out because of a crazy blizzard and all she had to work with was our wood stove, she still made the greatest chicken of all time. Also pot roast. And cheesecake. And Orange Goop (family tradition, don't ask).

The Ladies Hutch

Even with all of this, she still thinks that she's a sub-par teacher, a bland cook, a less than perfect wife, a mediocre mother, and an only ok human being. To that I say, poppycock.

Glee Gets it Right, Holy Grilled Cheesus!

I have a very complicated relationship with the show Glee. Sometimes it blows my mind. But mostly it isn't as good as I want it to be. However, last night's episode (which I had to wait until tonight to watch on Hulu), was truly great. It wouldn't be Glee if it weren't a little heavy-handed and a touch sappy, but this was as close to brilliance as any show gets.

As I'm writing, I have mascara stains running down my face, because this episode, spectacularly titled "Grilled Cheesus," really touched me. The central storyline revolves around my favorite character, Kurt Hummel, whose almost too-good-to-be true father is in the hospital after a heart attack. Understandably, Kurt has trouble dealing with this, having already lost his mother and his faith at such a young age. Though I am lucky enough to have both of my amazing parents still, losing faith is familiar and painful territory for me.

Kurt is upset and irritated when his friends don't know what to say other than that they will pray for him. This leads to what I feel is one of the most eloquent explorations of spirituality I've ever seen represented in film or television. Many of the Glee clubbers are religious, and find solace in their respective faiths. But Kurt feels all alone, abandoned by God if there is such a thing. Finally Mercedes, my second favorite character, brings him to her church (sporting the world's most fabulous hat). She serenades him with a gospel version of one of my favorite songs of all time that is very special to me, "Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water." It is only through this song that Kurt realizes that he may not believe in God, but he believes in something. This song and his best friend finally got through to him.

What I love most about this episode is that it addresses the subject of spirituality versus religion. It is religion that has persecuted Kurt for being gay and as Sue Sylvester rightly claims, has no place in schools. But spirituality has nothing to do with dogma or intolerance. I consider myself a spiritual person, even though I spew anti-religious vitriol any chance I get (apologies to my religious friends). Glee is probably the first show that ever encapsulated my belief in "something," even if I can't name what that is. Even when I was going to church, I only ever felt the spirit when we were singing. And it is only through singing, that these kids can also express themselves.

The obnoxious film geek in me would also like to point out that while it was extremely moving, the Grilled Cheesus subplot, where Finn prays to the apparition of a buttered deity on his sandwich, was utterly hilarious. It kept the show from getting too sappy, and also lampooned the ridiculous nature of these types of sightings that have more to do with exploitation than actual faith. And praying for winning football games and getting to second base, what could be a more accurate portrayal of a teenage boy's prayers?

The final reason why I love Grilled Cheesus so much, is the music selection. Yes Glee always has outstanding musical numbers. But many times, especially last week's Britney episode, most of the songs are filler that just happen to fit the theme o' the week. They're bland and not really relatable or even good. But every single song was dead on (with maybe the exception of "What if God was One of Us." That kind of went too far). I already mentioned "Bridge over Troubled Water," but I also bawled like a baby during Kurt's gorgeous re-imagining of "I wanna hold your hand." It's a song I never liked much, but with this new meaning behind it, and Kurt's beautiful voice and completely believable performance, I lost it big time. Finn's rendition of "Losing My Religion" was also very touching. I felt like it validated his silly grilled cheese-fueled behavior and I actually related to it. He's not the greatest singer or actor, but this was a shining moment for him.

So congratulations Ryan Murphy and fellow Glee writers (all of whom I met at the Glee writer's panel at the Paley Center a few months ago and Ryan waved at me from his Range Rover in the parking lot)! You finally struck the right chord.

Heheh, see what I did there? With the musical pun? 'Chord'? See, Carrie Bradshaw? I can do it too!