Prison Bound Playlist

I started writing this post when it was still relevant because I was in the throws of a gripping jury duty assignment. Two weeks later, I've decided to finish it because I didn't want to waste a good list. Feel free to download these songs and rock out whilst deciding a man's fate. Or just walking down the street, whatever.

So far my courthouse experience has been a tremendously fascinating bore (yes, it's possible). So to amuse myself, as I often do, I have created a playlist to make jury duty just a little bit more festive. I will leave out some of the songs just because I'm slightly embarassed that they exist on my iPod, let alone purposefully selected them to listen to whilst traveling to, from, or killing time in between sessions. Some are right on the nose, others are more metaphorical, and some just fit the mood of being trapped in a room with complete strangers who only have in common a random civic obligation.

Yep. Hot.

1. "Prison Bound" by Social Distortion
The namesake of the compilation. Mike Ness makes prison almost sound sexy. Which from what I understand, it most certainly is not.

2. "Police on My Back" by The Clash

This always makes me think of 80s youth causing mayhem and frolicking through the streets of London, being chased by ineffectual British Bobbies.

This is what happens when you google "British Bobbies."
Doesn't exactly inspire fear of authority. Just giggles.

3. "Policy of Truth" by Depeche Mode

We discussed at length whether witnesses can be trusted to tell the truth or not. The result of that debate was that we would hope so, but people lie all the time. Whether lying under oath on penalty of perjury, or lying to themselves about what they want to have seen. Truth is so subjective, it's scary.

4. "Two Points for Honesty" by Guster

Along those same lines, I have to respect a witness admits something that portrays themselves in a less than positive light. This song also keeps popping up randomly on my shuffle and I always forget how pretty it is.

Oh Kingston Trio. With your sweet harmonies and matching shirts. 

5. In the Jailhouse Now by The Kingston Trio

My dad used to listen to this old school folk group all the time when I was growing up. It’s also on the O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack, but there’s far too much yodeling in that one.

6. "Criminal" by Fiona Apple

So. Messed. Up. And yet so good. I'm not a Fiona Apple fan, (I just want to slap her in the face with a two-foot hoagie of pretentiousness) but you can deny how brilliant this song is. It's also hot in a confusing and wrong way.

Epic.

7. Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash

You knew this was coming. Johnny Cash also makes prison sound awesome.

8. "My Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett

Yes, this song is way over-played, even to this day. But whatever, it kicks ass.

9. "My Bloody Valentine" by Good Charlotte

Just a tad embarrassing, but Goof Charlotte was my jam junior and senior year of high school. So earnest yet disturbing. I remember singing this at the top of my lungs while driving Stan home. RIP Stan.

Florence is just so damn ethereal. I'm not entirely convinced she's human.

10. "My Boy Builds Coffins" by Florence and the Machine

Every so often I will hear a song from Flo that I never noticed before and it never fails to change my life. Ok, total exaggeration. But she is phenomenal. And this song makes you think about mortality all philosophical-like. (Also can you tell I chose the last three songs by going in alphabetical order down my iPod?)

11. "Cry Me a River" by Justin Timberlake

This may seem like an odd choice, but I was getting so sick of my peers going through selection who spouted all these sob stories to get out of jury duty. There was a pregnant full-time student who mentioned she had to reschedule a midterm to be there, and I didn't hear her complaining. Suck it up guys!

I dig this. I think I need a life-sized version in my foyer to discourage any
would-be wrong-doers.

12. If It Hadn't Been for Love by Adele

I've never heard anyone talk about this song. It gets overshadowed by Adele's numerous monster hits. But this broken down, badass blues burner gets to me. I think I was a scorned woman in another life.

13. Hard Knock Life by Jay-Z

Jay-Z is not my usual cup o’ musical tea, but I’ve always gotten a kick out of sampling show tunes from a musical about a little ginger girl for a supposed ghetto anthem. I heard he’s also doing the music for a reboot of Annie. This should be interesting.

Makes me laugh every time.

14. Janey's Got a Gun by Aerosmith

Aerosmith takes me back to my childhood as well. I don’t think I really understood this song back in the day though. Guess that’s a good thing. High five for Janey though.

15. It's Too Late to Apologize by One Republic

Hehe, get it?

Panic! At the Disco. Douuuuucches.
Yes, it's possible to hate the band yet love their music. 

16. Build God, Then We'll Talk by Panic! At the Disco

Catchy and kind of gross. Makes you want to dance, then take a shower. I was obsessed with this song when I lived in France and was dating the French Creeper. If this song reminds you of your significant other for some reason, you really need to end it.

17. Tha Crossroads by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony

I don’t know why I picked this one, but I dig it. It's like a peaceful resolution. Even if the name of the group pisses me off for grammatical reasons.

Marcy Playground. So. Much. Angst.

18. Sex and Candy by Marcy Playground

Another weirdly sexy, sinister song that makes you want to shower after. I loved this vestige of 90s angst.

19. I Hung My Head by Johnny Cash

This song is uber-depressing and dark, and gives me the chills every time I hear it. God bless Johnny Cash, man.

Cage the Elephant has a wicked sense of humor.

20. Ain't No Rest For the Wicked by Cage the Elephant.

One of the best hooks as well as awesome tongue-in-cheek lyrics. Just listening to it makes me feel like a badass.

21. I'm a Man of Constant Sorrow from the O Brother Where Art Thou Soundtrack

If you don’t love this song, then there’s something wrong with you. That’s just the truth.

Love it.

I'm listening to it now, kind of dark, bluesy, rebellious and yet self-righteous. Not a bad mix for the days you find yourself tagged with a number, a badge, and a week off from the real world. A world where frozen chicken doesn't determine your verdict. (I hope...)

Oh, and by the way, he was guilty. And kind of an asshole.

Also, the District Attorney looked exactly like B.D. Wong. And there's not a damn thing wrong with that.

Playing Ketchup Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

As promised, here is the sequel to Playing Ketchup Part 1. Things get a lot cheerier in 2013. I decided to follow through on my recurring New Year's resolution to do more awesome things. So far, I think I've been doing alright. Here is a list of the cool stuff I've done:

1. I stayed in a hostel when I was in San Francisco visiting Eric. Even though I was only there for one night and I spent most of that night throwing up, it was still cool to harken back to my backpacking days. The tiny dorm rooms, the familiar silver Ikea bunk beds, meeting cool people from other countries (my roommates were from France and Germany), and the cute guy at reception with the adorable accent. I never get to travel for real anymore now that I'm broke and have a grownup job. Even though San Francisco was only a few hours away from my hometown and I had been there several times growing up, it still felt like a vacation.

That's my girl, killin' it!

2. I got to see my homegirl Kelly Bean in a creative re-imagining of Twelfth Night set in the Golden Age of Hollywood. Needless to say, she NAILED it! This was another mini-vacation all the way in Camarillo. Our best friend Jenna also came down from NorCal for the event. We needed a girls' night something fierce and celebrated afterwards with wine, cheese, and other delicious treats. We also watched "She's the Man," since you know, Twelfth Night. And if you haven't seen it, it's pretty frickin' epic. Tragic what happened to Amanda Bynes, isn't it?

3. I re-enacted the Ferris Wheel scene from Season One of "The OC" at the Santa Monica Pier. Check that one off the bucket list. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, don't even worry about it.

Damn good chicken and damn good waffles. Still not sure they go together.

4. I finally explored Downtown LA. I had never seen the Library, ridden the Angel's Flight trolley, hung out at the swanky Bonaventure Hotel (with the terrifying glass elevators!), explored California Plaza, and walked down Olvera Street. I also took the time to really check out Union Station and not just rush to and from the Gold and Red metro lines. I've always found it sad that if a place isn't on my way to work or not an Irish pub, I probably don't know it exists. Sidebar, I also finally went to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles, another LA landmark.

Swoon!

5. SOCIAL DISTORTION!!!! AAAAH!!! I saw them once in college at the Disneyland House of Blues. And that was the last concert I had been to. Until I saw them again at the House of Blues on the Sunset Strip (Which is another area I've hardly ever been to even though I've lived in LA for years). I don't care if Mike Ness is as older than dirt and shorter than I am. I would do awful things with that man. Especially in his Machine Gun Blues gangster getup... We were about five feet from the stage which was super awesome except we were right in front of the mosh pit. I got kicked in the head by a crowd surfer, had at least six drinks spilled on me, and spent most of the time being knocked over. Soooo worth it!

This was at the Eddie Izzard venue.
I don't know what it is but I find it simultaneously terrifying and hilarious.

6. Eddie Izzard. What what??

Toepick!

7. Anaheim Ducks vs. the Los Angeles Kings. Hockey is the world's greatest sport. It has everything I love. Canadians. Burly men. Violence. It's glorious. Plus I was a Ducks fan sitting in a major Kings section. Gotta love crosstown rivalry games. It was a good one too. We scored in like the first 10 seconds, and then it was back and forth until nearly the end when we stomped on them. There was an insulting mass exodus of Kings fans when they realized they couldn't win and left before it was even over. (Sidebar, I'm usually a Kings fan, but the Ducks will always be Mighty to me thanks to Disney). After the game, we went ice skating at the Ducks practice rink in Anaheim. It turns out that skating is hard and dangerous.

I also shot at a zombie I named Hank. Because I'm also awesome.

8. LA Gun Club. Best. Date. Ever. Me and the Fella (oh yeah, did I mention there was a Fella?) got to shoot a Beretta handgun at a surprisingly popular gun range in the scary part of downtown that has also known visitors such as Queen Latifah, Exhibit, and Ryan Gosling. I'm not a great shot, and it felt a little like being in a war with so many guns going off (I left a bit shellshocked), but it really is a fantastic feeling. Amazing stress release. I have no interest in owning my own gun, but in a controlled environment it's AWESOME.

It's even cooler inside!

9. I saw Noel Cowards "Fallen Angels" at the historic Pasadena Playhouse. Oh the witty banter and the hilarious drunk old British ladies brandishing umbrellas at each other. I literally live around the corner from this beautiful historic theater and I had never ever seen it. I was also going to see Jekyll and Hyde at the Pantages, but I was too sick to go. Boo.


10. After my dear friend (and the woman responsible for my gainful employment) Allison, had her going away party (at where else but our favorite karaoke dive bar, Gabe's), I got stranded at Union Station at 3:30 in the morning. I had read the metro timetable incorrectly and missed the last train. I decided just to take a taxi, since it would take at least a half hour for the fella to come rescue me. I ended up waiting even longer than that for the taxi to come pick me up until I realized that I was on the wrong side of the station and that there were five taxis standing by the whole time. And I had to work four hours after arriving home at last. While this seems like a bad thing, Union Station after hours is truly a magnificent thing to behold. I got hit on three times (I must have looked like a fairly expensive prostitute I guess, though I didn't think my outfit was revealing at all), saw two people without pants on, and witnessed what I'm pretty sure was a drug deal. Fascinating I might have to go back on purpose sometime just to observe.

Meet CJ, the classy, blind, anorexic business fish.

11.  I bought a fish and named her Claudia Jean after my favorite character on the West Wing. Sadly, she died the other day because I can't keep a fish alive to save my life. Which is too bad because I'm not a cat or a dog person and cage animals like hamsters and birds freak me out. That leaves fish. Which are the least commitment possible. Speaking of low commitment, seven-day Betta food blocks do not work. Ask your roommate to feed your fish if you need to leave town.

I have this admittedly cliche poster on my wall and I was so excited to see that there was a statue of it! I tried to get homeboy to recreate the pose with me, but he would have none of it. Even after being shamed by a random Midwestern lady. Men are useless sometimes.

12. Speaking of leaving town, after living in Southern California since 2005, I finally went to San Diego for the first time. The fella and I decided to get the hell outta dodge and go exploring down Mexico way. (Without actually going to Mexico because despite being of Mexican descent, he doesn't have a passport and wouldn't be allowed entrance). Since we're both poor, kind of lazy, and didn't bring proper walking shoes, our exploration was somewhat limited. But it was lovely to take a Bridget Jones mini-break regardless. The beauty of San Diego is that it's so close, we can always go back. There wasn't so much pressure to fit in as much sight-seeing as is humanly possible, which is the speed I'm used to when traveling. San Diego in March is also bloody cold at night, which I also didn't prepare for. But I scored a $90 white Burberry-esque pea coat for $46 in under five minutes, so I think I just won at shopping.

I think this lists covers most of the awesome/interesting events of late. Basically it's a compilation of status updates/tweets/iPhone photos to serve as a memoir for a much happier time than the previous crap-tastic era. Let's hope the streak continues! Next on my list of conquering Los Angeles is to finally go to a Dodger game (or any baseball game for that matter. I'm a bad American for never having been...)