Shows I Cannot Get Into for the Life of Me

It's my Sunday night and I've done almost nothing but watch bad television all day and eat "healthy" junk food from Trader Joe's, (mostly pumpkin-based treats because I've made it my mission to eat ALL OF THE PUMPKIN THINGS ON THE PLANET. And yes, I am a white girl. But can we get over this stereotype? Because pumpkin spice is delicious and my gender and ethnicity have nothing to do with that. Ok, gourd-inspired feminist rant over.) Why did I waste my time watching "bad" television when I could have been writing the Great American Screenplay or at the very least, doing the dishes? Because I was determined to jump on a new bandwagon.

Surprisingly really good!
Though I always have a soft spot
for shows cancelled before their time.
Also, James van der Beek.

Having recently finished my latest obsession, "Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23," and finally closing out "The West Wing" (Which started off brilliant, but was brilliantly painful towards the end. Out of mad respect for Allison Janney I stayed the course), I was on the lookout for the Next Best Thing Ever. I am always open to suggestions as to what I should fixate upon and spend inordinate amounts of time consuming. But sometimes, those bandwagons that are so cherished by others, leave me cold and dusty. I realize that some of the following selections may make me seem hipster-ish in my rejection of what is normally considered to be outstanding and beloved. Let me be clear, I genuinely wish I liked these shows. I would love to participate in the cultural obsession and prattle on about sexual tension, the latest shocking twist, or basking in fan nostalgia. But I just can't get behind them, no matter how hard I try.

These are shows I tried, and failed, to watch despite critical acclaim, and/or high recommendations from friends, family, or pop culture at large:

No strong feelings one way or the other.

"Orange is the New Black"

It's a phenomenal show. The characters are compelling and well-fleshed out (anyone else creeped out by that term?). I like the story structure and it's certainly an original concept. I gave it a good 4-5 episodes before finally determining that no matter how high-quality the show is, I just am not interested in prison. Just like Shawshank Redemption is an incredible movie that I will never watch again, I just couldn't get past the bleakness.

Yeah…no. Put some pants on.

"Breaking Bad"

I watched the entire first season and the beginning of the second at the behest of a boy I was like REALLY into at the time. Ugh. Never again will I let my feelings for a man cloud my judgement of a show that did nothing for me. Yes, it's well-crafted. I get that. But I hated everyone. Like, actually hated. And why would I spend so much time and devotion to a show that just made me angry? Plus, I don't find meth all that fascinating.

I get it. You're sexy. Even with the ridiculous outfits and bad facial hair.
But this is not a world I care to hang out in.

"Sons of Anarchy"

I have been in love with Charlie Hunnam ever since "Green Street Hooligans" (which is one of the best movies you've never seen about British football hooliganism. Which proves that just because I can't actually relate to the world of a film or TV show, I can still lose myself in it. The pretty boys didn't hurt.) Charlie further captured my heart in Judd Apatow's short-lived, unappreciated "Undeclared." In fact, when I learned that he was going to be Christian Grey, I admit that I actually got excited about seeing "50 Shades of Grey." That being said, meh. Six or seven episodes in, I gave up. I do not understand the obsession with motorcycles.

Lulls me into a very fitful sleep.

"The X-Files"

I just tried to watch this on Netflix for the third or fourth time. I don't consider myself a nerd by any means, but I do appreciate quite a bit of nerd culture. (Buffy, Angel, Firefly, I'm sure there are more that aren't solely created by Joss Whedon, but I'm blanking at the moment. Oh Star Wars! I like Star Wars!) But dammit, if I don't fall asleep every time! And then I have nightmares. Because that theme song has made me shiver ever since I was a little girl and would hear it drifting creepily down the hall from the living room while my brothers watched it and I would cover myself in bed with stuffed animals so the aliens would get confused and not be able to find and abduct me. Yes, my biggest childhood fear wasn't spiders or snakes or the bogeyman. I was genuinely convinced that I would get kidnapped by aliens. And since I never was (fingers crossed), I like to think my stuffed animal misdirection method was foolproof. Anyway, back to the X Files. It manages to be both terrifying and boring at the same time. No thanks.

You sir, are no Mr. Darcy.

"North & South"

If you haven't heard of this one, it's a sort of Pride & Prejudice/Downton Abbey-esque mini-series available now on Netflix. Two of my bestest friends in the world, who normally have exquisite taste, have all but forced me to watch "North & South" at gunpoint, convinced that if I just give it a chance, I will love it to pieces. But Jane Austen, it is not. Once more, I hate everyone. They are extremely unlikeable, and not even in the way that is still fun to watch. Plus the setting is so very bleak (which is probably why I don't like prison or meth. But football violence is freaking awesome so the bleak explanation is flawed). Apparently, it's all worth it for the ending. But it's just dreary, and life is dreary enough.

He kills a dog with his bare hands in the first episode.
It was one of the most shocking yet effective character reveals I've ever seen.
But I just couldn't get on board.

"House of Cards"

1. Terrible, awful people you don't particularly feel like rooting for. 2. A setting that I have no relation to (I despise politics and can't fathom living in the hell that is D.C., no matter how awesome old school "West Wing" and new school "Scandal" are). 3. Isn't that enough to give up on a show that is impeccable in all aspects other than the fact that I just don't like it?

I'm referring to any and all series under the banner of "Star Trek."
But for our purposes, let's just focus on The Next Generation.

"Star Trek"

… Sorry, homeboy. I learned my lesson from "Breaking Bad."

I still love you Pacey (even though I was totally Team Dawson).

"Fringe"

Another show that was highly recommended to me by a fan who usually shares my same tastes. She had quoted me some of the more memorable lines and insisted that Joshua Jackson was just as charming as Peter Bishop as he was as Pacey Witter. Also, I toured the guy who plays Walter Bishop when I still worked at the Studio City property. I didn't know he was famous until we got stopped by a gushing resident who shook his hand and told him he was a big fan of the show. Awkward. He ended up not leasing an apartment despite clear interest and is therefore dead to me. But I was willing to overlook that fact and have been watching "Fringe" pretty much all day. (Taking a short break to watch some "Sister Wives." Why? I don't really know.) I don't think I'm ready to give up on it just yet. But it's honestly not doing much for me. I find myself more interested in reading blogs or random articles posted on Twitter or Facebook than watching this show. We shall see if it starts grabbing my attention more. Good luck, Pacey.

You can make all the arguments defending these shows you want. And I will probably agree with you in most respects. But like I said, I just can't.

What's the Opposite of an Ode?

Whatever it is, I'd like to write the opposite of an ode to beer. Beer is gross. One whiff and I get bitter beer face so bad I'm literally afraid it will freeze that way and I'll be stuck with a twisted, screwed up mouth and a scrunched up nose and eyebrows for life. Once I tried to take a sip of my friend's brother's super dark ale and nearly threw up in his authentic souvenir German stein. I hate beer. I know everyone says it's an acquired taste, like coffee or wine. But I fail to see the purpose in an acquired taste. Why bother acquiring it if the process is so yucky? Now I understand that some people require coffee just to survive. And though it took me several months of living in France, I finally understand why people like wine (red anyway. White is just a waste of time.)

Blech.

I drank my way through Europe, sampling the best beers that Munich, Prague, and Brussels had to offer. I was determined to acquire that taste so I could be a normal college student. Blech, blech, and more blech (with the exception of Belgian cherry beer. Droooool...) I made it all the way to the Guinness Brewery in Dublin, where I gave beer one last ultimatum: If I didn't like it by Ireland (one of the last stops on my trip), I was giving up for good. And sure enough, after touring the factory (and learning that eggs are the single best cure for a hangover, thanks Guinness!), I went up to their sky bar for my free (well, included in the extravagant ticket price) pint. Dirt. Dirt and poo was all I tasted. So screw you beer! Also, it has a ton of calories (not that I really care about that), and it takes a lot of it to really take an effect (expensive and inefficient).

But last night when me, the Bean, and the Bean's boyfriend went out on the town (and by town I mean the Universal City Walk), we came across a beer garden. And while I loathe the sight, smell, and taste of beer, I love what it symbolizes: hanging out with your friends, relaxing over a pint. And anything consumed outside tastes better for some reason. Plus, it was happy hour. Three fifty a glass? Happy hour indeed! We had some time to kill between getting frozen yogurt (sidebar, I am the queen of Yogurtland), and going to see the Green Hornet (more on that later). So we decided to go for it. I ordered a Belgian Wheat Heffeweizen (I think), simply because the description mentioned something about bananas, vanilla, and cloves, and that it was 7% alcohol (I'm all for more bang for your buck). And you know what? It wasn't terrible. I didn't get bitter beer face. I didn't love it, but I didn't want to regurgitate my digesting froyo either. So, progress. I should also mention I was able to stand Bud Light with the lime juice already in it. It tasted like water and from what I understand, doesn't count as beer.

So yes, I celebrated Martin Luther King, Jr. day with an exercise in tolerance. And while I still don't really like beer, I do like the way it makes you feel. As with wine, for some reason it gives you a happy, warm feeling. You appreciate everyone and everything around you. Not in a sloppy, "I love you, man" kind of way (at least in moderation). But still, it enhances the good times. Unfortunately, it had been a really long time since I'd had any alcohol, and frozen yogurt does not a substantial dinner make. So that 7% kind of hit me harder than expected and by the time we walked to the theater, I was laughing hysterically and awkwardly cha-cha'ing to the crappy world music being performed on the promenade. It was quite a performance, if I do say so myself.

Pretty good poster actually.

And now, on to the somewhat rushed and vague review (I have to finish getting ready for work. I just felt bad that I went so long without blogging.) THE GREEN HORNET!!!! I had been so excited about this project ever since I first heard that Seth Rogen was attached a few years ago. I love him as a writer and I thought he would make an interesting choice as an action hero (since Pineapple Express, like Bud Light with Lime, doesn't quite count). I was also stoked to hear that Michel Gondry was directing. Another unusual choice, and who would have ever paired those two up as a team? Anyway, the whole reason I got scammed by this extra company was that they were advertising for background players for the Green Hornet. Any chance to catch a glimpse of my beloved Seth was worth the exorbitant sign up fee. But that didn't exactly work out and I developed a slight resentment for the Green Hornet (even though it was just a pawn in Actorsonset's nefarious scheme).

Swoon.

When I finally saw the trailer (after the film was pushed back a few months, not boding well for its quality), I was severely disappointed. It looked really stupid, honestly. And not in a good way. Britt Reid's sidekick Kato seemed like such a horrific racial stereotype (which probably wouldn't have bothered me as much if it was genuinely funny). And I just didn't buy Seth Rogen as basically a male Paris Hilton. But after reading The Sassy Curmudgeon's surprisingly good review, I decided to take a chance. I rarely see movies in the theater, so this was a big deal. I trust Una, and Seth has rarely let me down before.

As for the movie itself, I think it helped that I was still a bit tipsy from my Heffeweizen. It took a while to really get going, and only in the last half of it did I really laugh out loud. But homeboy looks startlingly good in a suit, even if I maintain that he looked better 30 pounds heavier. The relationship between Kato and Britt was adorable and complex, even gleefully addressing the unintentional homoerotic subtext a few times. And as much as I love Seth, it was really the Kato show. Britt didn't really do anything except bankroll the operation and be snarky. He was more often the damsel in distress than the hero. Cameron Diaz was just awful, and her character seemed to serve only as conflict between the guys, and as exposition for the plot. And while Christopher Waltz was amazing in Inglorious Basterds, he was a bit wasted in this. He only appeared in a few scenes, and his whole bit about not being scary enough as a bad guy was underdeveloped. He had such potential as a supervillain, but really just seemed to phone it in. But he did have one of the best lines, "I'm UNGASSABLE!!" There were some great action sequences, but since I really only cared about the dialogue and the characters, I was perfectly 'whelmed.' A few great lines, clearly improvised, but for the most part, it seemed a little superficial. I know it's not trying to be more than an action comedy loosely based on an old timey radio show. But it had the potential for a lot of heart.

I think I'd give it a solid 5 or a 6. Maybe more because I am hopelessly devoted to Seth, even if he is engaged (*heart breaks). But the point is, beer is still gross.

Underrated Classics: Not Since You

While Sporadic Sporkitudes isn't a strictly film-centered blog (I tend to write about whatever pops into my head at the moment, be it amateur plumbing, karaoke, or Kobe Bryant-induced vomit), I am indeed obsessed with movies and enjoy spouting the occasional review of a film that strikes my fancy (see my Underrated Classics series: She-Devil, Brief Interviews with Hideous Men, While You Were Sleeping). A few days ago, I got my hot little hands on a screener of the independent drama, "Not Since You." It has been described as "The Big Chill for the 21st century." I'd say this is a fairly accurate comparison (it's thankfully less depressing but also has a less phenomenal soundtrack.) I will now attempt to give a fair, objective review that stays (mostly) on topic.

Obligatory Poster

The film focuses on an ensemble cast of characters who reunite at a wedding in Georgia nearly a decade following their 2001 graduation from NYU. Friendships are rekindled, relationships are formed and tested, old scores are settled and old scars are healed. The opening credits feature a montage of photos establishing characters and relationships in days gone by. The final shot is of the entire group of friends gathered in front of the former Manhattan skyline. Not only did these people experience the changes and inevitable drifting that accompanies moving on, but their lives were forever altered after September 11th. (I got a chilling sensation seeing this photo because I also have pictures of me on top of the World Trade Center in June of 2001.)

Upon an initial glance at the cast list, I immediately recognized Sara Rue from the short-lived but outstanding show Popular (as well the best line in Can't Hardly Wait, "SHEEP! You...are all...sheep. Baaa."). Another familiar face was Christian Kane, who I just saw in Angel this morning (What are the odds?). And while I didn't remember the name, I was instantly stoked to see Elden Henson, formerly the Bash Brother Fulton Reed from the Mighty Ducks (HECK YES!).

You go Fulton!

Slowly the characters, now a little older and marginally wiser, arrive on the breathtakingly beautiful Georgian estate to prepare for the wedding of Ashley and Daniel (?). I'm not quite sure of the groom's name because the film makes the interesting choice of essentially ignoring the couple getting married. It would have been nice to get to know their backstory, but since we already know how they end up, the narratives rely on the wedding party themselves. After all, that's where the drama usually stems from in the weddings I've been to. Something about the combination of booze, formal wear, and desperation brings out the worst in people.

Sam (Desmond Harrington)

The primary storyline features Sam, a dreamy but wounded lone wolf who remarkably resembles Smith Jared from Sex and the City, who still pines for his ex-girlfriend Amy, who is now married to Ryan (Christian Kane with an unfortunate-looking long haircut. Why do guys think that looks good?) What Sam lacks in personality, he makes up for in smoldering sexual tension with Amy as they get their groove on at the reception. That white boy has some moves! Their chemistry is so palpable that Ryan, nice but ultimately bland, cuts in during an awesome display of competitive male posturing. Who doesn't love that? But other than the ridiculously good casting of compatible actors, this narrative is somewhat lackluster and predictable until the very end. I was pleasantly surprised by the outcome, but I'll spare you the spoiler.

A damn good actor, but why the hair?

It does you no favors. Veto.

The other prominent love triangle involving Victoria, Howard and Billy, was a bit more interesting. Howard and Billy had been best friends until Victoria left Howard for Billy. Years had gone by since the two had spoken. The wedding trapped them all in the same place and provided ample booze to fuel the ensuing fireworks. Howard and Billy end up brawling on the dance floor. Later, Billy tries to apologize and asks Howard to be the best man at his own wedding. Howard realizes that he was holding the grudge for so long because he felt betrayed, not because he was really in love with Victoria. The dynamic between these two former best friends was that they fell out over a girl, who wasn't really worth it. As Victoria herself claims (in the world's biggest cliche), "you're in love with the idea of me." But it's true. Once Howard realizes that, he and Billy instantly fall back into their friendship as if no time passed at all.

I'll say it, I think Sara Rue looked better before.

But she's adorable regardless.

The story I was most intrigued by was the burgeoning relationship of the adorably shlubby alcoholic, Joey (Elden Henson/Fulton Reed) and the chipper Southern belle Sarah (Sara Rue, who looks gorgeous in the film, but I honestly think she was more beautiful with a little more meat on her bones). We find out from the start that Sarah has been waiting for marriage to have sex, but given the right guy, she'd "totally be inclined to expedite her schedule," (great line, by the way). Joey has shut himself off from the world after arriving late to work on September 11th only to watch his office come crashing down. The two of them have a very sweet, somewhat awkward romance. Both are undeniably likable and unpretentious. Their unconventional relationship was a breath of fresh air.

Undoubtedly the best scene was when they play Redneck Golf, essentially skeet shooting with ill-fated clay pigeons and over-sized rifles. The activity gives the film a greater sense of identity, taking place in the South and embracing its heritage. Not to mention, it provides an excellent physical representation of sexual tension, jealousy, and anger. Nothing is more cathartic than shooting a gun for the frustrated and suspicious Ryan. Sarah and Joey bond when Sarah teaches him how to aim. Billy and Howard have one more confrontation during this sequence and the rifles do a great job of ratcheting up the stakes. A gun goes off by accident, startling the entire party and increasing everyone's anxiety.

The loose ends are wrapped up during a poignant campfire scene in which most everyone has reconciled and accepted that though they have changed, their friendship has not (aww!). The bride and groom (in a rare appearance) give everyone a copy of the Manhattan skyline photo in rememberence of the last time they were all together. The next day before once again going their separate ways, they take a new picture to commemorate the eventful weekend.

Awww once more!

Overall, I enjoyed "Not Since You" immensely. The scenery was gorgeous, as was the score. There were memorable characters and unforgettable moments. It was beautifully shot, and wonderfully acted. And while there were some narratives that were a bit predictable at times, I firmly believe that you don't have to re-invent the wheel as long as the wheel you make is a good one. I hope to see more from Sara Rue who is criminally under-appreciated, as were many of the actors who have yet to see their big break. "Not Since You" is available on Netflix, so I'd recommend it for a lazy Sunday afternoon when you're feeling nostalgic about your own college friends and wondering what they're up to.

Underrated Classics: Brief Interviews with Hideous Men

I've been sick the past few days, so I've been taking advantage of the opportunity to laze about guilt-free with the excuse that I'm convalescing. Of course the only thing different about the past few days is that I've been consuming mass quantities of Vitamin C in addition to staying in my PJs and watching obscene amounts of Netflix Instant Watch. Having finally finished the magnum opus that is Buffy the Vampire Slayer (how epic was that finale??), and completed the entire British sitcom series Coupling, I was in the mood to finally start checking off the actual films that have been sitting in my queue for months. Today's menu consisted of Singles, Doc Hollywood (unintentional 90s Bridget Fonda mini-marathon), and lastly Brief Interviews with Hideous Men.

Obligatory poster. Kind of a boring one at that.

While the first two failed to really catch my imagination, the latter was absolutely riveting. I'd wanted to see Brief Interviews ever since I just barely missed attending the premiere hosted by John Krasinski himself. You undoubtedly recognize Krasinski as the most adorable male creature on Earth, Jim from the Office (which keeps making an appearance in this blog. I like it, but I'm not as obsessed with it as I come off). But this movie was clearly his baby. He adapted it for the screen, produced, directed, and had a significant role. Busy boy. I really had no idea what it was about, other than it was John Krasinski. It didn't get fabulous reviews, and was basically ignored. I guess critics assumed that all Krasinski was good for was being cute, bored, and snarky in 30 minute intervals. So that explains why I just got around to it tonight.

So freaking adorable! How could you not love this face?

The film really has no plot, which I sometimes have a hard time with in movies, but it works with this one. The premise is a grad student, Sara Quinn, interviewing different men about their experiences with life, love, and women. It's presented in a series of anecdotes and snapshots of characters. Some actual interviews, some encounters that Sara overhears. Her character really is a blank slate until the last few minutes of the film in which we realize her motivation. She observes and records with a frosty demeanor, like a scientist studying lab rats. I hated her at first, but then grew to understand and sympathize deeply with her.

The male cast portraying her subjects, most known only by their numbers (ie. Subject #51), is both incredible and somewhat random. Just to name a few: Will Forte (one of my favorites, a closeted gay man trying desperately to prove he loves women), Timothy Hutton, Will Arnett, Dominic Cooper, Christopher Meloni, even the lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie, Ben Gibbard, it's hard to imagine these people ever existing in the same universe, let alone the same movie. But it is that diversity that brings such scope to the film and its mission:

To prove that all men are hideous.

No, just kidding. I don't really think that was the point. Though there were times when I couldn't help but feel that. I love sociology and trying to understand people, particularly men whom I don't understand at all. I feel like Brief Interviews gave a glimpse into the male psyche and their views on feminism in today's world. Even the characters who were dark and damaged seemed real and grounded, neither truly evil nor heroic. I love flawed morality, individuals who exemplify the full spectrum of human emotion and motivation. So the film geek in me was super-stoked. Especially when I noted the use of jump cuts, non-linear narrative, and obvious influence by the French New Wave (could I sound any more pompous right now?). Those same elements of the uber-indie film kind of annoyed me at the same time. As if the project was trying far too hard to be taken seriously and made almost a mockery of itself by using so many conventions. But enough academic psychobabble. (I miss film school sometimes, can you tell?)

I'd like to pick out three performances in particular during which I couldn't tear my eyes away from my twelve inch tv screen. Krasinski as a director uses the deceptively simple tactic of turning on the camera and just letting it roll. No cutaways, no different angles, no frills to keep our ADD-addled eyes engaged. You're forced to stare at the actors faces as they unravel their painful tales and you aren't ever allowed to look away. That must be tough for the actors as well as the viewers. They have to get it all right in pretty much one take. The first I really noticed was a relatively unknown actor named Frankie Faison. I'm not sure how his role really fit in with the themes of the other interviews, but his story was intense.

Frankie Faison is amazing.

He talked about his father's career as the best bathroom attendant in one of the top-ranked historical hotels in the area. Everyday his father would show up for work in his freshly pressed all-white uniform and silently hand millionaires and CEOs towels. He took pride in his work, and in being unnoticed though he heard and saw all in the marble men's room with gold-leafed light fixtures. The subject (Faison) could never decide whether to be proud that his father worked so hard to put food on the table, or disgusted that he would degrade himself in such a manner. Faison refused to ever wear a single white article of clothing. The scene would cut back and forth to his father working in the men's room, and the subject relating it afterwards, causing the two realities to merge. This method of storytelling occurs frequently in the film, with great effectiveness.

Oh Dominic...Sigh

Another great performance was by Dominic Cooper, whom I had loved before from The History Boys, The Duchess, and Mamma Mia. I knew he was talented, but his character managed to be unhinged, frightening, and sympathetic all at once. He plays an undergrad in a class Sara TA's for. He writes a provocative paper about the survivors of rape and abuse and challenges Sara to consider the unexpected long-term benefits of such traumatic experiences. Naturally this produces a knee jerk reaction for Sara and all audience members both female and male. But he makes an excellent point. They've been through the worst thing they could ever possibly imagine, and they are still here. I'm not sure if I personally agree with his perspective, but it was thought-provoking. Sara is appalled by this, but Cooper defends his argument in three different scenes cut together. He explains that his sister was raped by four men who inflicted all manner of abuse upon her. But she survived. As his story becomes more and more intense, he finally reveals it was not his sister, but himself who was raped. The more interesting factor is, does this make a difference in how she views his paper? Whoa... mindfuck right?

The last and most impressive display was by John Krasinski himself. I'd seen him in a few bit parts in movies here and there. The films Leatherheads and License to Wed in which he actually had leads, were sadly eh. I was never really in love with any character other than Jim which he plays effortlessly, implying that he is just being himself. The one exception would be Away We Go which you must watch this very instant because it is outstanding. But by the time his big monologue towards the end was finished, I was almost in tears. He plays Sara's ex-boyfriend who cheated on her with some hippie chick. He explains with sociopathic detail about how he managed to seduce this woman with the intent of a one night stand. He connects with her for as long as it took to get her into bed, hitting all the right notes. Krasinski comes off as a jackass, but an insightful one. He's not afraid that the audience might hate him.

But then he relates the story that the hippie chick told him about how she was hitchhiking and was picked up by a sex offender. She knew as soon as she got into the car that something was wrong. Her faith was telling her to look the man directly in his eye and to empathize with him, no matter what. Not to scream, to plea, but to listen. By the time he actually raped her, he was crying. I had mixed feelings about the story itself, but Krasinski's retelling was incredible. He starts off so cool and Jim-like. But the power of the anecdote moved him. And Sara's unflappable expression pisses him off. He knows that she's judging him and calls her out on it. It's a very powerful scene that ruined my view of Jim a little (no man gets to call a woman a bitch under any circumstances), but increased my opinion of John as an actor. Who knew he had such skills?

And one more for good measure. Good on you, John.

To wrap up, Brief Interviews with Hideous Men is sadly underrated (5.7 rating on IMDB). I can't wait to see more from John Krasinski as a director and as an actor with meatier roles than the All-American put-upon male lead in chick flicks. I'm curious to see what he would do with a more conventional film. Plus, he's just pretty to look at, swooooon! I hope I didn't give too much away. There is far too much substance to this film to really ruin it by highlighting a few of its best features. Anyway, give it a chance. It's on instant watch, so there's really no excuse not to.

Kickass Women in Film

Today I was fortunate enough to break away from mountains of paperwork to attend an incredible seminar entitled "The Chick Flick Grows Up," programmed by the organization Women in Film. I'd been looking forward to this conference ever since I found out that the panel would include the writer/directors of some of my favorite films: Karen McCullah (10 Things I Hate About You, Legally Blond, She's the Man), Lisa Cholodenko (The Kids Are Alright, which I plan to see ASAP, Laurel Canyon), and Gina Prince-Bythewood (Love and Basketball, The Secret Life of Bees). I was stoked just to be in the same room as these ladies. They could have talked about navel lint and Panamanian tadpoles and I would have been enthralled. But in an hour and a half, they covered some fairly major issues. Here comes the obligatory list:

Karen McCullah Lutz

1. What is a 'chick flick?' Does the term "ghettoize/marginalize" the creators and/or audience of female-driven content? (Yes they used the word 'ghettoize' than once. It made me giggle.)

2. Why are so many female-centric films still directed by men? Television has a much greater proportion of female directors; why has film yet to catch up? Kathryn Bigelow and the Hurt Locker. How a female director transcended her gender to win Best Picture.

3. Ageism in the media. There are so few actresses over forty who can get a project greenlit right away, if they can get cast at all.

4. Why is a female-written R-rated romantic comedy like the Ugly Truth (penned by McCullah) derided in reviews as "obscene" when Judd Apatow's films are praised for their vulgarity. (I'm not saying the Ugly Truth is as good as Knocked Up. But it does make you wonder why male writers/directors/actors can get away with with swearing like sailors and minds in the gutter, but it's inappropriate for women to be raunchy.)

5. The concept of "likeability." Impossible to define and even harder to create consistently. Prince-Bythewood told an anecdote about how studio executives didn't think Sanaa Latham was likeable enough because she wasn't smiling in the majority of the first week of dailies (most of the scenes were heavily dramatic). They were also perplexed by why she didn't seem to enjoy losing her virginity in a pivotal scene. The women in the audience had a good laugh at that one. She was chided for being too realistic.

Gina Prince-Bythewood

6. MPAA ratings and how they affect the final draft of the script. The House Bunny was supposed to be R rated. It was about a Playboy model, for god's sake. But in order to capitalize on McCullah's Legally Blonde audience, they had to tone down the naughty humor. Sacrificing tone for mainstream appeal.

7. Why everyone loves scripts by Prince-Bythewood and Cholodenko, but no one will pay for them. High quality movies that they want to see get made, but aren't willing to risk millions of dollars on primarily black casts (that haven't played well internationally), or cause controversy by addressing the subject of homosexuality in a family context.

8. How casting is often decided by a formula that determines a star's 'international worth,' rather than who is best for the role.

9. What it means to compromise during the marketing campaign and let the experts get butts in the seats. It may not always be what you want, but if it gets people to see your movie, you have to pick your battles.

10. Paying respect to male characters in female-centric movies (as opposed to the arc-less, shrew girlfriends in most male-driven fare)

Any one of those topics could make for fantastic feminist/film research papers, but I'm not willing to delve deeper for a silly little blog. If any of them strike your interest, feel free to discuss in the comments. And now for some sound bites (they may not be exact quotes, but I think I got the spirit of them):

"Men are often surprised at how funny 'Legally Blonde' is." -McCullah on the subtle sexism of lowered expectations.

"No one ever thought of it as a black book. It was just a book." -Prince-Bythewood on 'The Secret Life of Bees.'

"Don't limit yourself when writing. Let them worry about the budget." -McCullah

"It's all about the way you feel when you leave the theater." -Prince-Bythewood on why no one thought Slumdog Millionaire would ever find an audience with no stars.

"Your film's gotta have great laughs or great sex. Something that really gets the heart beating." -Cholodenko on advice she was given by male studio execs.

"Dear ____, I"m so sorry about your tiny penis." -McCullah in response to a critic who didn't appreciate the line about Joey Donner's tiny dick in 10 Things.

"Once you label yourself as something, others will label you as well." -Prince-Bythewood, on being an African-American woman who refuses to pigeonhole the stories she wants to tell.

Lisa Cholodenko

Overall it was an inspiration just to share oxygen with women who have overcome discrimination of all kinds to achieve both critical acclaim and commercial success. They were insightful and hilarious (especially Karen McCullah. I now regret dissing the Ugly Truth. It was a cute movie that took place in my under-appreciated hometown of Sacramento). The experience reignited my easily vanquished desire to write. It gave me hope that I might one day sit on that very panel and inspire some other lazy girl with a blog and a dream. It was also fun to see three women who may share an occupation and a role in reversing the marginalization of women in the film industry, but have nothing else in common and clearly can't stand each other.

Underrated Classics: She-Devil

I've spent pretty much the entire day indulging in Halloween candy and Netflix instant watch, and it has been glorious. I focused on the work of the Coen brothers primarily (Raising Arizona, Barton Fink, and The Big Lebowski). Brilliant directors, with such a rare sense of humor and unique perspective on filmmaking (cough pompous cough). But the film that really struck me during today's cinematic binge-fest was the 1989 revenge masterpiece, She-Devil, starring Meryl Streep, Rosanne, and Ed Begley Jr.

Wow, that is a truly awful poster. Disregard this, please.

It was a film I watched a lot on TV when I was younger, but I haven't seen it in probably ten years. I find it sad that it only has a 4.7 rating on imdb, when I think it is immensely satisfying on so many levels. The acting is a bit over the top, especially Meryl Streep as the downward-spiraling romance novelist (she's allowed to have one role that isn't destined for an Oscar nomination). But Roseanne's portrayal of Ruth Patchett, the maligned frump of a housewife should be legendary.

The bodice-rippers that Mary Fisher (Streep) writes provide fantasy and escapism for bored, neglected women like Ruth. For the most part, regular chick flicks serve the same purpose. What makes She-Devil rare is that it features an unlikely heroine who is unattractive (not just in a glasses and ponytail kind of way), surprisingly nefarious, and not above manipulation to reach her goals. This is not a Katherine Heigl movie. Roseanne, though she may have her flaws as an actress, represents a large portion of female movie-goers. She's a helluva lot more relatable than some 5'10' blonde, thin, perky bimbo. Through Ruth, viewers who may have also been wronged by a husband, boyfriend, or life in general, can live vicariously through her plotting and scheming to systematically destroy all that Bob (Begley Jr.) holds dear.

This is the face of America. Deal with it. Hawt.

During that process, Ruth discovers self-confidence, takes pride in her appearance, and develops a small army of women that society disregards as outcasts who don't fit the Mary Fisher mold. I've never personally experienced anything like Ruth's philandering, embezzling, and downright cruel husband. But when Ruth pulls the strings that annihilate Bob's home, career, and freedom (he ends up in prison for 18 months), I'm right there with her, cheering as hellish flames engulf the "she-devil." Now this is my kind of chick flick. And other than maybe Thelma and Louise (whose screenwriter I totally met!), I can't think of another movie that so perfectly demonstrates a true female revenge fantasy. (While I kind of enjoyed John Tucker Must Die, it really doesn't count.)

Ultimately, it's not the greatest movie in the world. But I LOVE it, and it just might be worth checking out if you're feeling kind of man-hatey at the moment.

A Latent Review: While You Were Sleeping

One of my favorite movies of all time is the 1995 romantic comedy "While You Were Sleeping," starring Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman. I've loved Bill Pullman with my whole heart, ever since he played Denton in my actual favorite movie of all time, "Newsies." His rousing speech as President Whitmore in "Independence Day" gives me chills every time. And Sandra Bullock, one of the few actresses truly worthy of the term "America's Sweetheart," is never more charming than in this sweet little 90s rom-com. With its themes of unrequited love, mistaken identity, the chaos of family at Christmastime, and life not turning out as you planned, "While You Were Sleeping" packs quite a bit into 103 minutes. If Hitchcock were to direct a chick flick, I like to think this would be it.

While this film seems like a lot of other formulaic romantic comedies, (girl meets boy, girl saves boy's life but he falls into a coma, girl meets boy's brother, girl falls in love with him instead) it's actually fairly original in one crucial aspect. Our heroine, Lucy Moderatz, is strikingly different from today's female romantic leads. In every Jennifer Lopez/Kristen Bell/Katherine Heigl/Kate Hudson movie (really, they're interchangeable even though I confess I watch and love quite a few of them), the protagonist is a hard-working career-girl who isn't interested in love until a slovenly but endearing lothario teaches them to relax, open up, and love. Usually I believe, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But this same character over and over is getting redundant and pointless. Stop assuming that female audiences find any other personality type unfathomable, unrelatable, and unlikeable. That last description is particularly absurd since most of these characters are the epitome of unlikeability.

What makes Lucy Moderatz special is that she doesn't have her act together. She lives alone with her cat (in one uncomfortable scene she even dips an oreo into the cat's dish and eats it. blech.) She has a somewhat demeaning job working for the Chicago Transit Authority. She has no family, and it seems only one friend (the admittedly somewhat token sassy black co-worker who could use some more screen time). Essentially, Lucy is a harmless stalker, pining for Peter Gallagher's character in his double-breasted pinstripe suits, from the safety of her toll booth. Honestly, if Sandra Bullock wasn't so adorable, even in her less-conventionally attractive early 90s phase, Lucy would be kind of creepy when she accidentally infiltrates the Callaghan family.

The fact that she doesn't have a whole lot going for her, other than a sparkling personality, memories of her father, and dreams of Florence, makes Lucy so much more endearing than the shrewish, anal retentive snobs of today's chick flick. She not only lands two fiances, granted one is comatose for most of the movie, but she also gains the love and comfort of a real, loving and wacky family. The audience shares her joy when all of her dreams come true at once. Jack (Bill Pullman), proposes to her in her tollbooth in front of the whole family, and whisks her away on a Florence honeymoon. Cue the 'aw' moment and overused "This Will Be" motown rom-com anthem.

In today's climate, and real life in general, many women don't have their act together. Yes, we're focused on our careers, but they're probably not going so well at this point. Tripping every so often, dropping stacks of paper, spilling coffee on suits real people in that situation could never afford, or bumping into attractive men with conflicting personalities, that doesn't make a heroine flawed and real. Lucy has real problems. She doesn't need to make a pratfall for us root for her.

Speaking of pratfalls though, "While You Were Sleeping" does contain the greatest one since the Three Stooges. I'm speaking of the hilariously random paper boy who totally biffs it on the icy sidewalk. Glorious. I don't know what it's doing in the movie, but it may be my favorite part.

Glee Gets it Right, Holy Grilled Cheesus!

I have a very complicated relationship with the show Glee. Sometimes it blows my mind. But mostly it isn't as good as I want it to be. However, last night's episode (which I had to wait until tonight to watch on Hulu), was truly great. It wouldn't be Glee if it weren't a little heavy-handed and a touch sappy, but this was as close to brilliance as any show gets.

As I'm writing, I have mascara stains running down my face, because this episode, spectacularly titled "Grilled Cheesus," really touched me. The central storyline revolves around my favorite character, Kurt Hummel, whose almost too-good-to-be true father is in the hospital after a heart attack. Understandably, Kurt has trouble dealing with this, having already lost his mother and his faith at such a young age. Though I am lucky enough to have both of my amazing parents still, losing faith is familiar and painful territory for me.

Kurt is upset and irritated when his friends don't know what to say other than that they will pray for him. This leads to what I feel is one of the most eloquent explorations of spirituality I've ever seen represented in film or television. Many of the Glee clubbers are religious, and find solace in their respective faiths. But Kurt feels all alone, abandoned by God if there is such a thing. Finally Mercedes, my second favorite character, brings him to her church (sporting the world's most fabulous hat). She serenades him with a gospel version of one of my favorite songs of all time that is very special to me, "Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water." It is only through this song that Kurt realizes that he may not believe in God, but he believes in something. This song and his best friend finally got through to him.

What I love most about this episode is that it addresses the subject of spirituality versus religion. It is religion that has persecuted Kurt for being gay and as Sue Sylvester rightly claims, has no place in schools. But spirituality has nothing to do with dogma or intolerance. I consider myself a spiritual person, even though I spew anti-religious vitriol any chance I get (apologies to my religious friends). Glee is probably the first show that ever encapsulated my belief in "something," even if I can't name what that is. Even when I was going to church, I only ever felt the spirit when we were singing. And it is only through singing, that these kids can also express themselves.

The obnoxious film geek in me would also like to point out that while it was extremely moving, the Grilled Cheesus subplot, where Finn prays to the apparition of a buttered deity on his sandwich, was utterly hilarious. It kept the show from getting too sappy, and also lampooned the ridiculous nature of these types of sightings that have more to do with exploitation than actual faith. And praying for winning football games and getting to second base, what could be a more accurate portrayal of a teenage boy's prayers?

The final reason why I love Grilled Cheesus so much, is the music selection. Yes Glee always has outstanding musical numbers. But many times, especially last week's Britney episode, most of the songs are filler that just happen to fit the theme o' the week. They're bland and not really relatable or even good. But every single song was dead on (with maybe the exception of "What if God was One of Us." That kind of went too far). I already mentioned "Bridge over Troubled Water," but I also bawled like a baby during Kurt's gorgeous re-imagining of "I wanna hold your hand." It's a song I never liked much, but with this new meaning behind it, and Kurt's beautiful voice and completely believable performance, I lost it big time. Finn's rendition of "Losing My Religion" was also very touching. I felt like it validated his silly grilled cheese-fueled behavior and I actually related to it. He's not the greatest singer or actor, but this was a shining moment for him.

So congratulations Ryan Murphy and fellow Glee writers (all of whom I met at the Glee writer's panel at the Paley Center a few months ago and Ryan waved at me from his Range Rover in the parking lot)! You finally struck the right chord.

Heheh, see what I did there? With the musical pun? 'Chord'? See, Carrie Bradshaw? I can do it too!

Wannabe Entertainment Weekly Article: Lone Star's Untimely Demise

It is my favorite season at last! Season premiere season! I'm a big fan of Fall in general. The weather, the clothes, the food, the atmosphere. But the most exciting thing to me is getting to watch and review (for personal edification, rather than for compensation) the season openers and hot off the press pilots. As a TV junkie (who ironically has no TV), I have caught a good chunk of the new shows this year, and I've been rather impressed.

1. How I Met Your Mother, one of my favorite shows of all time, returns fresh from a rather stilted, sitcommy Season 5 with the undeniable combination of Wayne Brady and Neil Patrick Harris. Good times were had by all.

2. Mike & Molly, which I was excited about, being an overweight person finally represented on TV by characters who were not just sassy sidekicks. You'd think we were a minority from the way we're invisible on screen. Embrace the jigglypuff, America. They got a lot of the obligatory fat jokes out of the way, and still managed to have some sweet moments.

3. Hawaii 5-0. Never watched the old one. Probably wouldn't watch the new one if it excluded Jin from Lost and super sexy though super boring Alex O'Loughlin. But I was pleased to see as the inaugural baddies, the less attractive Boondock Saint (Norman Reedus) and Buffy's own Spike the vampire (James Marsters). Wasn't otherwise too impressed with the pilot, but the following episode ended with an adorable makeshift police academy graduation.

4. Raising Hope. The best new show I've seen so far. It's random and awkward (high praise in my terms), with a pretty man candy lead, and extremely well-done. Highlight was when new father Jimmy pukes on his new baby whilst changing her diaper. Sounds cheap and vulgar, but it was genuinely hysterical. Watch it now, I say!

5. Glee. I love it with all my heart, but it is seriously flawed. Hated the new kids, and as for the Britney episode, surely they could have picked better songs. Though "Stronger" re-imagined as an 80s training montage power ballad, was a stroke of genius.

6.. Lone Star. I confess I did not watch it. And I was not alone. It didn't really appeal to me, despite the attractive star. But upon hearing the news yesterday that Fox was canceling it after two underachieving episodes, my heart broke for the Dallas-set sudser. Fox has a history of canceling amazing shows (again, didn't see this one but it got great reviews), many of which became legendary in their afterlife. But what the network needs to remember, is that this was someone's baby. Someone dreamed up the concept, pitched it, was stoked when it sold, even more stoked when it was produced, and probably experienced the realization of a dream the night it aired. Its creator even appealed to audiences in an open letter, pleading his case to a public overwhelmed with new shows and old favorites. And yet still Lone Star got the axe. Production on episode 6 was halted, most likely never to be finished. All those people lost their jobs and may not be hired again now that the season is underway. Am I the only one who is touched by this? That some cliched money-grubbing executive can just yank the show off the air with a metaphorical vaudevillian shepherd's crook? I know television is a business, and what's a business, without revenue. But they could have at least given it a chance to find its identity and its audience before throwing in the towel. (How many metaphors can I mix here?) Anyway, I'll be mourning the death of a show I never watched while rejoicing in the (fingers crossed) success of my other obsessions.