Shmoozing

So I went to a shmooze-fest tonight, otherwise known as a networking mixer. Luckily my friend was there to introduce me to some of her friends. If I had gone sans wingwoman, I probably would have wanted to shoot myself in the head. Picture a dark, overcrowded, obnoxiously trendy bar in Beverly Hills with the bad music cranked up so loud you can barely carry on a conversation. Why do people think this is fun? I only go so I can potentially meet people to help me with my career or god willing people that don't totally suck to hang out with. Too bad I'm not as outgoing as I once was. And too bad I'm too poor to afford social lubricant juice (ie vodka tonics or classy red wine). I'm going to another mixer tomorrow night, one specific to the film industry. Hopefully it will be more productive than trying to shout small talk at people I barely know who are totally in my personal bubble space and pretend that I can hear their most likely insipid responses.

Wow, this sounded super bitter and anti-social. I apologize. I like people. I just would rather be able to converse with them instead of stare awkwardly at my fingernails after we run out of things to shout about in the first five minutes. Oh well, we'll see what tomorrow's shmoozing at the Reg. Bev. Wil. (Pretty Woman reference!!) will bring.

First Paid Writing Gig

I'm finally getting paid to write! Sure, it's a pittance that will barely cover the cost of my fix-it ticket (ugh, that's a whole other nightmare). And sure it's temporary, under the table, and under someone else's name. But the point is, I'm finally getting paid to write! I'm reading scripts and writing coverage for a screenwriting competition. It's exciting because it's something I used to do for free! It's even more exciting when the only income I've been able to muster in the past 3-4 months has been from cleaning my mom's kitchen cabinets. Any writing is good practice for me, and I'm especially happy to be doing writing for the film industry in any capacity.

Vagina Pride!!

Some thoughts on the just wrapped up Oscars. I have never actually watched the Academy Awards all the way through. I also don't have a television. But I found a way to watch the entire thing online (even though towards the climax the link died and I had to watch the best parts dubbed in Spanish and my ears are still ringing). I guess I don't really deserve an opinion because I've only seen like five of the movies nominated out of every single movie mentioned. (Up in the Air which was gypped but I understand why, Up, eh overrated and I hate computer animation, and Inglorious Basterds, which I enjoyed despite my usual hatred of Tarantino, and that actually may be it.)

But it was a proud moment to see that a film helmed by a woman, especially a war film, finally earned so much respect. It was always a dream in the back of my mind to be the first, but if it had to be another woman, I'm glad it was Kathryn Bigelow. She seems so classy and gracious and I just wanted to give her a hug. It was sooo tacky though to have "I am woman, hear me roar" playing in the background, but even so, HELL YES!!! I do have to agree that this was largely political, but even so, she has the chops to back it up. I'm assuming. Like I said, I haven't seen the movie because I'm broke and I kind of hate war movies.

As well-earned as the Best Director award was, I do feel that Avatar was robbed for best picture. Haven't seen it. But based on the impact it has had on popular culture, and the impact it has made in the filmmaking world, I do feel like it deserved to win. I was watching the show via a British broadcast and their point was that this was clearly the more memorable film. I would also relate it somewhat to 1984 when Chariots of Fire (blech) won over Raiders of the Lost Ark. Who even remembers Chariots of Fire?

Anyway, yes it's all political. But in this case, it's political for the greater good. Kathryn Bigelow, you make me proud to be a woman in an industry that is still dominated by men. :D

How to sneak into Fox Studios

1. Know someone who works there (even if it's just temporary).

2. Have them get you a visitor pass. Ok, so it's not sneaking in technically.

3. Be seen eating lunch with them/walking around.

4. Make sure you look fabulous in pointy shoes and sunglasses (so they can't see your shifty eyes).

5. Start walking. But when you walk, walk fast and make it look like you know where you're going.

6. Don't ever pull out your map or look at the posted signs.

7. Don't dawdle, or look too interested in any one thing.

8. Pretend to be an extra and cross the fake New York street when they shout "Background Action!"

9. Don't freak out when you see someone famous (in my case, I only saw John Francis Daley of Bones, which they were filming, Freaks and Geeks, and Waiting). Ain't no big thang.

10. Don't get in anyone's way, introduce yourself to anyone, hit anyone up for a job no matter how much you want to.

11. Resist the urge to Maeby Funke your way into an executive position.

12. If you need a minute, pretend to text someone on your phone, but don't actually call someone.

13. Leave, still acting like you own the place. Even if you can't find your car in the parking garage for a good ten minutes.

14. Stay cool at all times even though you really are freaking out inside. EEEEEEEEEKKKK!

That was by far one of the coolest things I have ever done! I can't believe no one even questioned why I was walking around (looking like I had someplace to go). I had several cover stories ready just in case I got stopped by a security guard. I was Joss Whedon's niece. I got lost on the way to casting. I was a background player. I was visiting a friend. Anyway, it was magical. It felt like a college campus, only with nicer cars and rich people eating lunch in fake New York. The highlight, besides watching Bones being filmed and seeing the adorable John Francis Daley, was spotting Joss Whedon's parking place. His car wasn't there, but still. If it was, that's where it would be. Triiippy.

Fox-y Ladies

Today I am going to "do lunch" at Fox. As in 20th Century Fox. I've always hated the phrase "do lunch," but right now I am completely embracing any and all Hollywood phoniness. And I'm suuuper excited in a completely lame, star-struck way. A friend of mine is temping there in the casting department and has already seen quite a few celebrities meandering through the halls. (One well-known TV star even asked my friend where she could breast pump, ka-razy!).

I'm hoping that after our sophisticated and glamorous lunch, I'll be able to wander around the lot, dodging security guards behind bungalows and fake New York brownstones. I'm not going to lie. A little part of me is hoping that once I'm actually there in the Promised Land (ie a genuine film studio), a big producer or even actor will approach me and either offer me a fabulous job, and/or perhaps their hand in marriage. I'll probably turn down any marriage offers I receive today, but you bet your ass I'm going to jump at the chance to work for Fox.

Clearly I'm aware that I'll be lucky if I even catch a glimpse of someone marginally famous, much less someone who is ready to hand me my dream on a silver platter. Still, it's nice to know that it's not completely and utterly inconceivable. Hey, it's more likely to happen on the Fox lot than if I were to stick to my normal routine of lounging in bed in my PJs, watching silly sitcoms on the computer.

Competition

I can be a pretty competitive person, especially when it comes to middle school dodgeball, trivia-based board games, and chugging contests of any kind. But right now, I'm feeling the strain of competing against thousands upon thousands of others in the Los Angeles job market right now. Someone must be getting these jobs that I keep applying to. Someone who is more intelligent, more creative, more outgoing, and more experienced than me. Even jobs classified as 'entry-level' are being filled by people with ten years or more in that specific field. It's incredibly frustrating.

I found a television writing fellowship for ABC that sounds absolutely ideal for my situation. The opportunity to learn from real writers and potentially be hired by one of the biggest networks in America is absolutely incredible. The salary is outrageously good too. It doesn't start until next year and I wouldn't even find out until November if I got in. The deadline is July 1st, and already I'm starting to panic. I have plenty of time, and I know I could probably knock out a decent spec script of a sitcom by then. But knowing that there are only eight spots and who knows how many hundreds of applicants is making my head explode.

My confidence isn't too high after being turned down by a different ABC internship last Spring, and not even receiving a big fat "NO" from an NBC writing program in the Fall. I'm really hoping that in both cases it was because I screwed up on some logistical detail, forgetting to sign something, misreading directions, that sort of thing. But of course there's that voice in the back of my mind that says "You're just not good enough." It also tells me to set fire to things, but that's a whole separate batch of neuroses.

Hopefully I've gotten better over the past year. I've been collaborating on a feature script with a friend, in addition to writing random things on my own. Nothing really worth mentioning, but the practice has been beneficial. I hope. Anyway, I feel exactly like I did when I attempted to apply to the USC screenwriting program and had a nervous breakdown before I could even finish the application. The competition is fierce and brutal and painful and all manner of unpleasant synonyms for bad. Especially when what you're being judged on is creativity, which is completely subjective to begin with. It's like giving birth to a baby you think is beautiful, then sending it off to be ripped apart by pageant judges who blame you for producing such a piece of crap child. (Too much?)

I think I'm a decent writer. But I don't think I'm good enough to beat out hundreds of others who have dedicated their lives to writing and have a greater natural skill to boot. I'm not looking for sympathy or ego-boosters. I'm just saying that it's overwhelming to have a way to attain your dream dangling right in front of your face, and to know there's only the most infinitesimal chance it could be yours. All I can do is write the best script I can and hope to god everyone else applying comes down with mono. Or leprosy. Leprosy would be better. They can't type if their fingers fall off...