Fat Pants and Ninja Turtles

There are few things as depressing as going to Wal-Mart for new fat pants because your former fat pants fit just a little too snugly for comfort. My new fat pants aren't going to win me any Miss Thang Awards, but at least they won't cut off circulation below my belly button. The only positive element of this experience was that it was the first time I could actually afford new jeans, even if they only cost $18. To console myself about having failed for the umpteenth time (I hate the word 'umpteenth' but it's the perfect description), to lose weight, I decided to buy myself some new DVDs. I definitely couldn't afford DVDs before, so I hit up the $5 bin to see what was what.

Here is what I bought to assuage my fat pants blues:

1. Billy Madison (I've always been a big old school Adam Sandler fan. That penguin kills me every time.)

2. The original live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Fuck. Yes.)

3. BONUS! A combo pack of Teen Witch and The Heavenly Kid! I've never seen the Heavenly Kid and since they had to pair it up with the 80s camp classic, Teen Witch, just to sell, it probably is not great. But then again, judging by the other movies in my basket, I have a very alternative notion of good taste. It could be my new favorite movie, who knows? Besides, two movies for five bucks? Uber-score.

Hopefully I'll end up not needing my new fat pants for very much longer (haha.), which is why I only spent $18. But in the meantime, I'll be super-comfy watching some of my childhood favorites!

By the way, if you have never seen Teen Witch, this video sums it up in one gloriously inappropriate rap battle. "Look how funky he is! I'll never be hip." (You can skip the first 35 seconds or so).